K. Estela's True Confessions Part III: The Journey

We come back, continuing the great series of interviews by Writer K. Estela Rivera... We last left off on a discussion about music. When we begin this leg of the interview, she doesn't even give me a chance to ask a question.

K. Estela) I'm stuck.

Karla E.) On?

K. Estela) A song. I can't get it our of my head, it haunts me, but in a good way. I play it over and over and over....

Karla E.) What is it?

K. Estela) Grizzly Bear's 'While you wait for the others." It's this song that was introduced to me by my friend Kevin. It's only fitting that a post-production sound guy would introduce me to an amazing track. The guitar riffs remind me of Hendrix, the vocals are smooth, and there's this all male (maybe Black men) chorus that just hooks you. I keep playing it and it just takes me places...

Karla E.) Well tell me, how has music been a beacon for you? Throw some artists out there...

K. Estela) Oh Lord, that's a long list... I was bombarded with music my whole life. My uncle Charlie, now in his late 60's still beats the steering wheel as if it was a set of congas. That's an early memory. the first song I remember evoking emotion in that generation of my family - as I observed it - was this song by an artist called 'El Puma' and the chorus went [singing] 'Dueño de tí, dueño de qué? Dueño de nada!" He also had this other track and when my cousins and I were little we'd sing it in the car, "Estár enamorado es." But my cousins that were Spanish illiterate-ish would sing it and it would sound like, "Estamenamanamenes." But as a whole, there's a few categories that make up my musical journey...

I was raised by multiple generations and I was the baby of the family... so everything from my grandmother's generation, to my cousins who were twenty to three years older than me, trickled down. I was also raised in two cultures, and was exposed primarily to about seven distinct cultures in my early years, which expands as I get older... So it was old Spanish ballads, it was Doo-Wop, it was 70's Salsa, Chinese chi-gong and Classic Rock music, I was raised in Chicago...

Karla E.) Ah yes, the House revolution... In the beginning there was Jack...

K. Estela) And Jack had a groove, exactly... Bob Marley, El Gran Combo, Lavoe and company.. Michael Jackson, Madonna, The Cure, Depeche Mode... and then there was the world around me... Pop culture seeps in, MTV, Chicago Public Schools, the 80's... I took it all in. So that was the musical world that I was surrounded by... If you're talking to the me of the early 80's, my beacon was Menudo. Boy band of all boy bands. It was my first conscious musical choice. I still have all of their records on vinyl. Then there was Michael Jackson... but everyone liked Michael Jackson... i wasn't consciously loving the music for its intrinsic value. I wasn't taking a journey. I wasn't conscious of the ART of music... hell, I wanted to be a lawyer... I was stuck on semantics and argument at age seven.

Karla E.) So when were you taking the journey?

K. Estela) Depeche Mode was the first band I took a journey with. I was twelve when 'Violator' came out. I should also say that I was going through one of the biggest changes in my life at the time... Puberty, the end of grade school, self-awareness, gender awareness. I saw my first play and decided that I wanted to be an artist.

Karla E.) Which play?

K. Estela) 'Fiddler on the Roof.' and let me tell you, I went kicking and fucking screaming. In my mother's great quest to make me cultured at any cost, she bought tickets. It was starring Topol, the original star of the show. I could give a shit, really... I was so pissed. I fought and fought her hard not to go. Eventually, she shut me down and we went to the Civic Opera House in Chicago. If you haven't been to the theater ever, this place is like a palace. So we went. and it was the first time I saw live theater, besides the lamerod kids shows we'd have to go to on field trips. I was an old soul in a room of children. Anyway... The show captivated me. That's the only way I can explain it... I longed for its return during intermission and then... when the cast took their final bows... I felt this SURGE of LOVE coming from the audience towards these actors... and then Topol comes out and everyone just loses it.... It was then I knew... I wanted that. Love in a bottle, love in the forms of thousands of people applauding simultaneously... since then I never looked back. I started painting, auditioned and got into choir, and sang until I was 21. I started paying attention.... to everything. It was like I just allowed myself to become hypersensitive, like I pulled a scab off of me. Like I was set on fire I had all of this new skin that soaked in the sun's rays and raw emotion.

Which leads me to 'Violator.' It was the first album that I would stay up past my bedtime for. I would slyly go into bed with my walkman and play the tape over and over imagining, feeling...

Karla E.) Imagining and feeling what?

K. Estela) Anything... It was a tumultuous time in my life... It's hard to be a young girl, discovering, just becoming aware of her own body and no one to really talk about it with. It's like being in a straight jacket or watching an Aphex Twin video for the first time. It's a huge "What the FUCK?" My artistic spirit at that point was like an untamed horse. I had my hands in every cookie jar. My work was in the Art Institute of Chicago's Children's exhibit at age 11. I would exchange art projects for math homework. It was music that got me thinking visually. I envisioned music videos. Perhaps it's because I'm part of the MTV generation, or because every film has a soundtrack.... but I can safely say, that we all have a soundtrack to our lives. there are songs that take me to age 6. 'We Belong' by Pat Benetar reminds me of the first time I got stoned. 'Afuera' by Caifanes (now Jaguares) takes me to University of Illinois, where Cesar (one of my first great loves) and I would drive through the cornfields of Southern Illinois and get lost just to see if we could find our way back. There's this guitar solo in the middle that is so incredible it paralyzes you. 'Bizarre Love Triangle' takes me to Von Steuben dances, where we would scare away the ghetto kids with our 'Oh-My-Goth'-ness... 'Stairway to Heaven' reminds me of the first time I fell for someone. D'Angelo's 'Voodoo' album seduced me just as much as the man who played it for me every time we'd have sex.

There's music that makes me have cocaine nasal-drip, gets me high, makes me horny, instantly makes me crave nicotine, makes me smile, smirk, wanna fight, make a movie, and then there's music I just can't hear. It's like movies... there's movies that I can see once, that I can never watch again they're just that cripplingly powerful.

Karla E.) Like?

K. Estela) Cry Freedom, Schindler's List, Amistad, Babel, Antoine Fisher, Big Fish (which I hated in the beginning and then all of the sudden it made sense and I just started bawling like a little bitch). Anything that tells the truth... The truth scares me. Actually, let me amend that statement... Harsh truth scares me. Things we can't change.

Karla E.) How does that translate into your life?

K. Estela) It's the could'a-should'a-would'a moments... Bad memories... The what-if's, the burning questions, un-erasable decisions, moments that I look in the mirror and I see myself during rough patches... Like that scene in '25th Hour' where Monty Brogan gives his 'Fuck you..." monologue and blames the entire world for all that is fucked up about the world and New York, from the gays in Chelsea, to the Puerto Ricans, to Jesus. Then he sees himself for what he really is and says, "No fuck you Monty." Those moments are few and far between, you know? Writing helps with that to a certain degree.

Karla E.) Does sound do this for you as well?

K. Estela) Indeed.

Karla E.) What are some sounds you like?

K. Estela) Crashing waves, a solitary violin, coquis, bass lines that take over your body, birds chirping just before sunrise, orchestral sounds on hip-hop tracks, casino noises especially when I'm ahead, children’s laughter, acoustic guitar, African drums, heavy breathing (and knowing that I’m the reason for it).

Karla E.) What about sounds you hate?

K. Estela) Alarm clocks, sirens, bodily functions, constant drips, nails on a blackboard, crying, sounds of distress... But I would take any of these sounds over dead silence any day. I can't live without some sort of ambient noise... Maybe that's the urbanite in me...

Karla E.) What's hard for you?

K. Estela) Admitting defeat, admitting when I'm wrong, keeping promises that I've made to myself, holding a grudge, keeping my opinions to myself, self-censoring, not loving too much, not loving enough, losing weight, saying no, turning off the TV during a 'Law & Order' marathon, talking to my father.

Karla E.) Where is your father?

K. Estela) Puerto Rico somewhere... That's about all I know. That's all I care to know. He wasn't really my father. My mom might as well have used a turkey baster.

Karla E.) So who was your father?

K. Estela) I used to ask my mom that when I was really little. And she would say, "I'm your mother and your father." Which is a fucking hard concept to grasp when you're five and the neighborhood kids are making fun of you for being fatherless. Remember, this was the 80's and divorce wasn't the immediate, acceptable Plan B. My grandmother used to tell me he was in Vietnam. Which he was... in like, the 60's or 70's.

I was a product of infidelity. In fact, most of my half-siblings and I were. My father's a textbook S.O.B., and I'm sure he has his fair share of demons. But he brought that onto us... hardcore. Imagine being a child, visiting your 'father' and you're looking at the woman who replaced your mom. I remember being nine, maybe older, and having a huge freakout. I was at Esteban's house in Camuy. And at that point my younger brother Jorge and younger sisters Stephanie and Rebeca were small. I was supposed to sleep over and I outright refused. And this man got home and I remember just airing out his dirty laundry all over the place... I remember this clearly, being a little kid and just YELLING and crying and just making him aware of the fact that I knew how fucking fucked he was for what he did. He had a house, cars, three kids that wanted for nothing, and my mom and I were sharing a one-bedroom apartment, fending off roaches because our neighbors were disgusting. 'I know,' I remember telling him. Imagine being a grown up and having a child call you on your shit... Imagine being nine and being fed up. That's not a place where a child should be.

---Insert silence--

Karla E.) What are you thinking?

K. Estela) I think about nature v. nurture and if there's pieces of him manifested deep inside me. I wonder if his Karma will come to him. I wonder if he looks at himself in the morning and says, "what have I done?' We are born from women but we are also children of men. Genetically we carry that, we carry that imprint with us until we die, we pass it on of we reproduce, or it dies with us when we pass. I think about legacy and I'm scared about the one that will carry on after I am long gone from this world. There are oceans I will forge with reckless abandon. Then there are rivers and creeks that I cross with great care and respect. Because it's the little things that hurt the most.

Jeez... this got ridiculously dark. I don't like dark.

Karla E.) So where's the silver lining? I know there is one.

K. Estela) My uncle. He stepped up to the plate when I was very young. I mean, I really couldn't have asked for a better replacement. Let's just say, it's because of him that I'm not as manic and neurotic as I could've been. He brought a sense of normalcy into my life. And when I was finally ready to accept it, I gleaned his wisdom and let it manifest itself as positive energy. I don't necessarily take his advice all the time. But I grew up right because of him and my aunt. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I can extrapliate meaning and a lessons from any situation in my life, good and bad. So maybe it was meant to happen this way... maybe if I had a perfect life I would be some lamerod with no mission in life instead of this complicated, talented, artistic, defiant, woman who thinks it's cool to interview herself for the entertainment of others...


TO BE CONTINUED....

K. Estela's True Confessions Part II: Jukeboxes and Sex

Karla E.) Thanks for tuning in and returning to our ongoing interview with K. Estela Rivera. How are you feeling?

K. Estela) A little drunk.

Karla E.) Nice… Me too…

K. Estela) Biter.

Karla E.) This should be interesting…

K. Estela) Turn the music down would you I can't think.

Karla E.) Should we tell the people what you're playing?

K. Estela) The Pixies – Hey… (Singing) Been dying to meet you!

Karla E.) How'd you get into them?

K. Estela) My friend Steph, she was big into them and we used to go to this bar called My Bar that had an extensive Pixies collection on their jukebox. Was not a bad jukebox.

Karla E.) You like jukeboxes?

K. Estela) Love 'em. They can make a hole in the wall bar the funnest place on earth dude. I used to work in a hole in the wall… was the smallest bar in Chicago. It could house maybe 20 people tops. It's what I would like a bar in my future home to look like. It was like we were kids playing bartender. But I digress…

Karla E.) Yes, you do.

K. Estela) Anyhow, it was this shitty little bar connected to a transient hotel. The bathroom was located in the lobby of the hotel, which screamed the need for a scene in a Tarantino flick... Serious shoot-em-up type shit. It was kitsch and it was tack, and it was fun... I don't think I would ever have gone there in my free time had it not been for the juke box. It took me a little while, but I was able to convince Larry, one of the owners to let me burn come CD's and put them in. I was getting tired of the default songs... which were always old man tracks that made you want to drink a bottle of Red Label and i NEVER want to drink that stuff... I'm more of a rum girl. It was a place where people lived hard lives and you could see it on their faces. like a Cassavetes film. Diner people.

Karla E.) Are you a diner person?

K. Estela) I have diner people potential... I think we all do. There's that moment of clear disconnect that people have. Weather it be a traumatic childhood, or an experience that makes you hit rock bottom. There are people that can come out of that surviving and thriving and turn it around, make it their own, and they become the cool people who just get it... Or you end up in the mire of life, give up, become emotionally crippled and gravitate towards others and end up in a tiny bar, drinking well whiskey on the rocks, wearing caked-on makeup, costume jewelry and a wig that reflects the color hair you used to have. Those were the patrons. Either that or young drug addicts that were on their way to that existence. I was always curious about that... how they become these people... I say I have diner people potential because I don't know what I'm completely capable of... I think I could go either way... artists are royalty to that condition... going either way... I don't think I ever will be one of those people... I hope not... It's sad.

Karla E.) So what else do you wonder about?

K. Estela) What drives people to kill. How much is too much. Did Courtney kill Kurt? What kind of life exists on other planets. Did Dante have it right when he wrote 'Dante's Inferno.' And why is it considered part of the Divine Comedy. Do writers from the past look into our classrooms when we discuss their writing and laugh at our interpretations. Weather Buddha, God, Allah, and all of the deities and saints are int he cosmos playing us like chess pieces. I wonder if we're all just a bunch of B-roll for the great movie of life and when we die, we get to see the finished, edited film. I wonder if I'm gonna get to see where it all went wrong, and how it's all gonna be alright. i think about our Weather or not certain people think about me, and what they think... I think about that a lot admittedly, it's a sick fascination... to be the fly on the wall in a room full of people that might be talking about you.

Karla E.) But isn't that kind of narcissistic? To think that there's a room full of people talking about you?

K. Estela) Not really... it happens to all of us at some point. Good or bad... there's always an inciting incident that makes us talk about other people at length... from their idiosyncrasies to their flaws, to why we love them, to what we wish they could be more/less like. It's human nature to talk about others. That's what movies are... a two hour dedication to the people we talk about.

Karla E.) But aren't they also a reflection of yourself, as the writer?

K. Estela) Sure, but ultimately, what am I the individual doing as I write about a slice of my identity? I'm engaging in dialogue and action with a series of other people. And who are those people? People I talk about. People I've been talking about in a room full of other people discussing the same person... It's third-party voyeurism. But without all the sex.

Karla E.) So you don't write about sex?

K. Estela) Sure I do. Sex is about as natural as morning coffee... Some coffee is the gourmet shit... and you take your time with it, smell it, sip it. let it roll on the tongue. Other coffee is a quick fix, a jolt to get you going. Sometimes you have coffee after lunch, and dinner. Sometimes coffee is all we exist on. Sometimes it gets us through the night, it sobers us, it livens us up.And other coffee is just there... sex is like that...

Karla E. ) Never heard coffee as an analogy for sex.

K. Estela) You can make anything into an analogy for sex. It's simple. Take Prince's song 'Little Red Corvette.' Sex.

Karla E.) Gotcha... Speaking of music.

K. Estela) Let's put on another record and have some coffee.

K. Estela' True Confessions Part I: Idiosyncratic Instrospection

In reading Tom Waits' 'True Confessions," which was an interview of him, by him... I said to myself... 'Hey what a great idea!'

So here I give you a rare glimpse into me... Some questions I took from the Waits interview and others I just came up with on my own. I started wondering what it might be like to actually see a physical representation of myself interviewing me... and than I got scared... I think that would be overwhelming for the world... and then I'd have competition...

Enjoy...

Karla E.) Alright bitch... so what's with the K. Estela? I mean seriously...

K. Estela) Hahaha... That's a great question. As I've gotten mixed reviews over this new development in my name. I've always had issues with my name. It's only been in the last few years that I've actually embraced the middle name. When I was a kid, I used to get made fun of (for a lot of things). I can still hear the 'Streetcar Named Desire' references on the school bus by the other kids... STELLLAAAA... like it was yesterday. I hated it.

I'd always gone by Karla E., but then there's already the ever-popular, legendary Shiela E. so that wasn't gonna remain for very long...

I've always been a name girl. I think names are important... I think about potential names for my future children... and it's not because i've got a biological clock... it's because there's really an awesome responsibility in giving someone a name that they can grow into, work with, manipulate, enjoy, be admired for, something they can evolve into. I think my mom did alright with my name.

K. Estela was inspired by other writers in my program who have done similar things with theirs (ex: Sherry M Sheppard-Massat is S.M. Sheppard Massat). Historically, women, especially intellects and writers would have to extract gender from their names in order to get their work read. My intentions are a bit different. I think it's a perfect writer's name. It accentuates the cultural, it allows me to share my first name with people I would like to enter into my life on a more intimate level and it's honestly quite poetic...

I've thought too much about this haven't I?

Karla E.) Yes you have... But you tend to think too much about everything.

K. Estela) A Blessing and a curse.

Karla E.) It's good to be cognizant of things.

K. Estela) Yeah but then you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night seriously trying to answer questions like, "Nice to meet you... Was that just a formality or did he/she really mean it?" The brain doesn't pick and choose what it analyzes, either you delve deep into everything or you don't. You find answers or you sit idly by and accept things for what they are and wait for your two weeks vacation and flip through catalogues to see what someone else tells you what you should purchase and what TV you should watch...

Karla E.) So you're also a conspiracy theorist.

K. Estela) Sometimes. Especially when it comes to pop-culture.

Karla E.) Fascinating. "Nice to meet you."

K. Estela) *chuckling* Fuck off.

Karla E.) Alright... alright... back to the questions... List some artists who have shaped your creative life.

Painters:

Keith Haring: I met him while in high school at Gallery 37 before he passed. His most influential piece, for me at least, was the 'Free South Africa' piece he did. Simple images, incredible metaphors.

Salvador Dalí: I'm a huge fan of manipulating image to evoke feelings. He was incredible at this.

Frida Kahlo: Introspective, gender bender, made pain beautiful, and her relationship with Diego Rivera reminds me of past loves that I still can't shake.

Andy Warhol: We get into a lot of debate about this one, my friends and I. I think he was the pioneer of branding. He used labels, symbolic people and images to create his own brand.

Cajíga: I grew up with his paintings of rural Puerto Rico my entire life. These impressionistic images of the mountains and country life fascinated me as a child. I still love the Puerto Rican country side... Unfortunately, it diminishes decade by decade. I think if the Americans could find a way to carve a Wal-Mart into the side of a mountain, they would've done it already.

Diego Rivera: I had a chance to spend a day with his murals in Detroit, MI. His work was always fascinated me. Especially his use of color. He tells stories with his work. I can imagine dialogue, scenes and entire situations from one tenth of a mural, imagine the epic tales that can be told from the entire piece.

Italian Neo-Futurists: unfortunately the paintings were a precursor to fascism, but the portrayal of movement and struggle and dispair in the very colors used, is incredible.

Soviet Propaganda: Chiseled, industrial, it always made me feel cold, looking at it, but it really appealed to me.


Directors:

Fellini: Glamorous, dreamlike, kinda like being on good drugs.

Jarmusch: Urban (not ghetto, urban, some people get that mixed up), gritty, humorous, delved into social disconnect in an innovative way.

Chris Cunningham: He and Aphex Twin make an incredibly scary team. But I love the 'Windowlicker' video.

Michel Gondry: He will direct one of my films one day... you heard it here... it will happen. i think people discount him a lot. Thinking that somehow his artistic sensibilities are more for a feminine realm. I think he taps into the human condition in ways we don't want to admit. I remember discussing 'Eternal Sunshine' with my new friend Jon and he said something along the lines of "don't think that much of it... in comparison to females who like it anyway. it's ok."

I rolled my eyes... For Gondry to be watered down to an innovative chick flick filmmaker frustrates me a little. To me, he's visual, and had an amazing way of conveying feeling through image. Displacement, alienation, love, worth, happiness, depression, dispair... His work is incredible.

Ang Lee: He knows how to tell incredible, heartbreaking stories amidst beautiful backdrops-

Karla E.) You mention a lot of men.

K. Estela) I wasn't done.

Karla E.) At this rate this interview won't be done if I don't interrupt.

K. Estela) Fuck that, I want a new interviewer!

Karla E.) ...

K. Estela) Seriously. I'm spewing out gems here...

Karla E.) No one else will do this.

K. Estela) You're right, I take it back. I love you. What was your last question?

Karla E.) You don't pay much attention do you?

K. Estela) I call it selective ADD.

Karla E.)Riiiight. So like I was saying earlier... You mention a lot of men as artists you admire. Where are all of the women?

K. Estela) It's not something intentional. There are things that I naturally gravitate to and it has nothing to do with gender. I think sometimes people put too much emphasis on identity labels. A "Woman Writer" a "Black Rock Band"... It's writing! It's music! The further I get through the list, especially when it comes to writers and musicians, the list becomes more diversified. The thing is... my cinematic heroes tend to be men and it's not a rejection of my gender. Sure Penny Marshall is great... but does she wow me? No, not really. Am I entertained by her work? Do I admire her? Absolutely. But she's not going to be on my list of inspirations by virtue of her having a vagina. People get caught up in the mire of Race/Ethnicity/Gender/Sexu

al Orientation way too much and fail to see the work for what it is. If we rejected certain artistic work based on this criteria alone then there would be nothing for us to watch. i learn from what is there... so that perhaps I can be on someone's list one day. It's going to take a few generations, perhaps long after I'm dead, for there to be a plethora of women, people of color, etc. for people to choose from. i think the gender/color revolution in cinema will only happen when we stop criticizing people for what who they are and aren't watching/reading/listening to/admiring, and just try to understand WHY we watch/read/listen to/admire the things/people we do, make it our own, and put ourselves on the artistic forefront. Defy expectation and stereotype and integrate your experiences to create your own aesthetic... that's the key to success, that's the key to being admired, that's the key to artistic freedom and potential.

Great examples of this: Kung-Fu Pimp and the Kung-Fu Grip Mag, TV on the Radio, Cafe Tacvba, Radiohead, Gorillaz, Boz Lurman, Daft Punk, Fafi, Graffitti, Benicio Del Toro, Robert Rodriguez, Salsa Celtica, Handsome Boy Modeling School... to name a few.

Karla E) Well said... let's take five and come back with some new questions.

K. Estela) Lovely...

CHE:Know About It

It’s 4:25 am and I’m still up thinking about the film "Che". It’s been a while since I could say that film gripped me so much that it yanks me from a comfortable, warm bed on one of the coldest nights of the season with a full day ahead of me. I sat through the over 4-hour biopic directed by Steven Soderbergh ("Traffic", "Erin Brokovich", "Ocean’s Eleven") and starring Academy Award Winning Actor Benicio Del Toro playing the role of el Comandante Ernesto “Che” Guevara, and it didn’t drag once for me. In the United States, his image can be sold to you on a t-shirt for $16.99 at Urban Outfitters. For many Cuban and McCarthy-era Americans, Che is a man that helped Fidel Castro lead a revolution that was based on communist, socialist and Marxist ideologies, seen as evil in the 50’s and 60’s. In the United stated this “Red Scare” led to a witch hunt, led by Joseph Raymond McCarthy, that led to nothing but a series of lists of people who were suspected of Communist activity, but never committed any crimes. The group that may have suffered most from these hearings were intellectuals and artists, who were blacklisted and unable to work in their own professions. In Cuba, and in many countries experiencing revolutions and fierce social and political change, he is respected, and regaled as a hero.

Admittedly, I’ve read up on the guy. As a child, raised by a mother and grandmother with leftist inclinations, and born in Puerto Rico, an island that has grappled with it’s political standing since receiving our citizenship in 1917, El Che is as much a part of the Caribbean fabric as sugarcane. My interest in him started early, reading the occasional speech as a high school student and then taking on full texts like the book "Che Guevara: A Revolutionary Life", by Jon Lee Anderson and other books in both English and Spanish. His evolution from a boy born into an educated, semi-well to do family in Argentina, to doctor to Comandante and his eventual demise in the Jungles of Bolivia is a unique, and interesting story, no matter what your political affiliations are. The events and turning points in Ernesto Guevara’s life are beautifully told as only film can do in "Diarios de Motocicleta" (or "The Motorcycle Diaries") based on the memoirs written on a trip that took Guevara through South America showing him first-hand the disparities between the haves and have-nots, more importantly the exploitation and abject poverty of the indigenous people of the countries he visited.

So when I found out that Soderbergh was in fact going to film a biopic based on Guevara’s revolutionary life, I couldn’t wait. I felt myself feeling the way I did after seeing Platoon in the theaters when I was nine and my mother telling me, “You need to see this. You need to understand” – referring to my father and what he and his fellow soldiers went through during the Vietnam War. Watching this film was a necessity, not something to gingerly watch on a Saturday afternoon. I sat there with an anxiety in my spirit and a critical eye.

So let’s talk a little bit about "Che" as a film. It was shot beautifully mostly in the hand-held style Soderbergh is well known for, adding a visceral dimension. The viewer almost walks alongside El Comandante, Fidel & Raul Castro, and the band of revolutionaries during guerrilla warfare. The flashbacks and interviews done in New York are shot in a style that is reminiscent of grainy black & white television. The only time I was taken out of the story was when I realized that parts of the film were shot in Puerto Rico. Certain vistas were too familiar to me, even mountainsides. And then there was, of course, the song of the coquí that was a dead giveaway, which made me smile, but never took me completely out of the situations that I was witnessing.

Part I, entitled "The Argentine" was my favorite of the two films. The chemistry between the actors, and the beginning, middle, and end of the story are clear. The want is clear. I was surprised by the humor that was injected into little pockets amidst gunfights and the body count. It was truly, beautifully put together.

Part II, entitled "Guerrilla" takes the viewer to Bolivia, where Che unsuccessfully tries to stage a revolution. While the same grit is there, it waned a bit on parts, as attested by the guy sitting next to me who started to snore. There was something missing in the story at that point that I still can’t shake. There was too much waiting. We knew what would happen in the end, but it was prolonged. The viewer isn’t stupid. We can gather that the guerrillas were suffering without seeing it at every turn.

While I respect Soderbergh a great deal, I find that he tends to fall just short of telling it like it is, the whole way through. For example, "Traffic," released in 2000, tells the story of the heroine drug trade between the U.S. and Mexico through very distinct lenses: the traffickers, the DEA, low-level Mexican policemen, the United States Drug Czar and his addict daughter. There is a scene where Caroline Wakefield, played by Erika Christensen is at her bottom, whoring herself out to a dealer for heroine. Now, it’s not that the scene didn’t communicate the low that the character was at. It was really how Soderbergh presented it that I took issue with. The dealer was not only African American, he was also cast as this overly-buff, imposing type, and the sex scene was filmed a little too much like “oh, poor little white girl.” Which took away from what was important in the story and Caroline’s through line. She was already a sympathetic character without having to portray her even more so at the expense of a Black character, which only reinforced a stereotype.

It took the C.I.A. and hundreds U.S. trained Bolivian soldiers to capture Ernesto Guevara. I think Soderbergh handled the U.S. involvement in with kid gloves. While I don’t think he needed to go Oliver Stone conspiracy theorist over it. I think that it should’ve been clearer who the major players were. I also think that Soderbergh really, truly missed an opportunity to make a parallel with what the United States has been involved in doing for the last eight years and beyond! Also, I believe a huge part of the story was missing: Guevara’s family. He was twice married with five children. Soderbergh really only dedicated about ten minutes that, without really delving into what that internal struggle may have been for Guevara. Also, in Part I, Aleida was an outspoken, strong character that carried a gun and fought alongside el Comandante. In Part II, Soderbergh pretty much strips her of any of that identity and paints her as a weak, voiceless wife who's man has gone off to war.

Now having said that, I now have to say that the beauty of this film is not story structure, or what it was missing. I love the way women, while few, are still shown playing major roles in both Cuba and Bolivia. It was wonderful to see the breadth of Guevara’s dedication to his soldiers as he fought with his own severe asthma in tropical climates and steeph mountain climbing. I was pleased to see a man driven by his intellect and ideology, and his willingness to live as if he had already died in order to achieve the goals that he set forth. I’d love to have seen President Bush try to do that in Iraq. Nope, he's too busy cracking jokes, "The WMD's gotta be somewhere, har har har."

What I love most about "Che" is how it took me out of bed at 4:25am, thinking about Aleida March, his second wife and comrade and the children he left behind, one of them just like her father, a Marxist and a doctor; about the revolutionaries of the 20th century that sat, marched, spoke, called to arms, and moved nations. I think about Martin Luther and Coretta Scott-King, I think about Malcolm and Betty Shabazz, I think about Nelson and Winnie Mandela. I think about Barack and Michelle Obama and how they may be able to usher in a new wave of thought and American existence, despite the fact that they're probably wearing bullet-proof vests in order to do so. I think about the sacrifice it takes to change the world and the forces that curtail it. I think about the United States and Bush and how he’s really not that different in action than Guevara. But how he gets to live the rest of his days comfortably in his West Texas ranch, enjoying his wife and children while the body count rises and a tired military fights to feed an ideology he was not competent or intellectual enough to express.

No matter what your political affiliations, leanings, or how you might feel about what Ernesto Guevara stood for, the film Che really invites the viewer to look at what it’s like to walk the walk and talk the talk and what an individual must sacrifice in order to hope to achieve the goal at hand. Whether or not El Comandante was justified in his actions is better left for a discussion amongst willing participants and I believe that Soderbergh designed the film to be that way. It is what it is. Che was who he was and he still lingers in our existence as a murderer to some, or as Nelson Mandela would say "an inspiration for every human being who loves freedom."

-K. Estela Rivera